How do we fix our thoughts?
What a great question. I think it probably demands hours of discussion, and even then, we wouldn’t scratch the surface. But in a nutshell, it comes down to this: What is the content of your character? What is the content of your thoughts?
At KC’s Gym, we’ve had a quote displayed for the past 33 years:
"Watch your thoughts; your thoughts become your words. Watch your words; your words become your actions. Watch your actions; they become your habits. Watch your habits; they become your character. Watch your character; it becomes your destiny."
If you follow that train of thinking, you have to ask yourself: What is my train of thinking? How do I approach each day? How do I approach every connection I have with someone?
Heraclitus said, "The soul is dyed the color of its thoughts." He advised thinking only of things that can bear the full light of day. Day by day, what you think and what you do shape who you become.
Your integrity is your destiny. It’s the light that guides your way.
Before I close my eyes for the last time, I want to know that I led a virtuous life—not a perfect life, but a good one. A life based on kindness toward others. Because in the end, whoever loves the most wins.
If your thoughts become your words, and your words become your actions, and your actions become your habits—what kind of habits do you want to develop in your thinking? Everyone has fleeting, even violent thoughts at times. But if you dwell on them, if you feed them, you start to become them.
This reminds me of a story many kids love—the tale of the two wolves that live inside each person. A Cherokee grandfather tells his grandson:
"One wolf is violent, easily angered, filled with rage. It cares only for itself and does not protect the pack. The other wolf is noble, brave, kind, and protects others."
The boy asks, "Which wolf is stronger?"
The grandfather replies, "Whichever one you feed."
So, what kinds of thoughts are you feeding yourself on a daily basis?
For me, I go through a series of mantras, prayers, and meditations every day. I’ve been studying Stoicism since February of 1984. It’s very in vogue these days, though I think sometimes misunderstood. But I’m glad to see more people consulting Epictetus, Marcus Aurelius, and Seneca—my own personal Stoic trinity.
When approaching your thoughts each day, ask yourself: Are these the best thoughts I can have? Is this my best? And if the answer is no, the most exciting thing is that you can change that instantly. You can begin again.
As Rumi says:
"Ours is not a caravan of despair.Come, O wanderer, worshipper, or lover of learning,Even if you’ve broken your vow a thousand times,Come back, come back again."
If you don’t like who you’ve become—change it. And change only happens through practice. You get better at yoga by practicing yoga. You get better at boxing by practicing boxing. You get better at running by running.
You get better at being a good person by being a good person.
I’m done.
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